Themes

I'm Carlos and I like puns, bad jokes, and butts.

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opentheairforfreshwindows:

brave-fart:

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brave-fart:

did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta way

he just ran out of thyme

here today, gone tomato

his wife is still upset, cheese still not over it

we never sausage a tragedy coming

ashes to ashes, crust to crust

there’s just not mushroom for italian chefs in today’s world

spaghetti

(Source: sofunnyimcryan)

Reblog - 185688 - like - July 24th

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i romantically stand outside your window and hold up my iPhone to blast our song. a 30 second ad plays first

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ggaga:

i hate how you’re just born out of nowhere and you’re forced to go to school and get education so you can get a job what if i wanted to be a duck

Reblog - 439373 - like - July 24th
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camel-no:

5 Points will be deducted from Gryffindor ‘cause Harry’s being a little bitch

Reblog - 53176 - like - July 24th

tsarbucks:

tehlofflies:

tsarbucks:

you know when i die i’ll probably just be in the afterlife blogging like 

"heaven has no free wi-fi? fuck this shit i’m going to hell"

how do you know hell has wifi

satan owes me several favors

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